Saturday, July 15, 2006
silence is appreciated
all the talk has got me feeling that i'm incapable of looking after someone/thing, and i'm nothing but a dependent.
people telling me not to get this, not to get that with reasons like i have simply no time, no energy, no ability for it.. it's just getting to me.
one whole year, especially after honey passed away, i've had people telling me all these crap.
and now, this feeling that i'm having is making me not want to have anymore pets, no matter how much i yearn to have a pet puppy.
this feeling is also making me not want to ever have a child, regardless of how much i'd love to have my own children.
talking to him about pets is like storytelling. nothing appears to help anything.
talking to him about children don't seem feasible or realistic. not now, not ever.
why is that i try to give whatever i can, but nothing seems to be reciprocrated?
why is that i'm always the one that has to change, while everyone else can remain the way they are?
why is that i have never ever been deemed right and always in the wrong, and on top of that, the one that is the bad influence? (for pete's sake! i don't even drink, club, smoke or do drugs! by the way, i'm always at home, rotting.)
i am so sick and tired. but even if i cried till my tears run dry or my eyes go blind, nothing will change. because this is how things have always been.
10:04 PM
